By Janet Davis
Walk in: Losing Your Life by Letting Go External Expectations/Outer Authority
But Lent
I would love to become
the kind of person
who makes sure the dishes
are done
every night
so she can wake up
in the morning
to the peaceful welcome
of a clean kitchen.
I would love to become
the kind of person
who replies to every email
the same day it arrives
and keeps a neat,
nearly empty
inbox.
I would love to become
the kind of person
who never picks
at her cuticles
or bites
at her lips
or chews
at the insides
of her cheeks
until the dentist
gives her a lecture about it.
But Lent
is not for trying
to become someone
I am not.
It is for honoring
the person
I already am.
My wholeness.
My integrity.
My belovedness.
And so,
in this holy season,
I will not strive
for self-improvement.
I will not seek
to create new habits
or to break
the old ones.
I will not squeeze myself
into impossible expectations
guaranteed to leave me angry
and disappointed
when I fail.
Instead,
I will do nothing
but breathe,
receiving the quiet gift
of every inhale
and every exhale,
receiving it even
when I am too busy
or distracted
to notice. Somehow,
God is present
in the breath,
in the breathing.
And from time to time,
if I simply
stop
trying,
I may be given
the grace
of knowing it.
Questions
What kinds of “doing” in your life are DONE? Reflect especially on patterns or habits that are unfruitful or even destructive to your soul.
Where are the “external” authority voices (the “shoulds”) at odds with your own internal authority and wisdom? Are you ready to release them?
What helps you breathe into the love of God?
Center: Meeting the Holy One in Your Internal Authority
Water Women
We do not want
to rock the boat,
you say, mistaking
our new poise
for something safe.
We smile secretly
at each other,
sharing the reality
that for some time
we have not been
in the boat.
We jumped
or were pushed
or fell
and some leaped
overboard.
Our bodies form
a freedom fleet,
our dolphin grace
is power.
We learn and teach
and as we go
each woman sings;
each woman’s hands
are water wings.
Some of us have become
mermaids or Amazon whales
and are swimming for our lives.
Some of us do not know how to swim.
We walk on water.
Alla Renée Bozarth, Water Women, audiocassette, Wisdom House 1990 and Accidental Wisdom, iUniverse 2004.
Questions
What new poise within you might be mistaken for safer conformity?
What “boats” have you left?
What did your leaving look like? Jumping? Being pushed? Falling?
Who else is in your “freedom fleet”? How do you feel about life in the water now? Are you singing? Swimming? Walking on water?
Walk out: Saving Your Life with Courageous Non-Conformity
Passover Remembered
…Some will find new friendship
in unlikely faces, and old friends
as faithful and true as the pillar of God’s flame.
Wear protection. Your flesh will be torn as you make a path with your bodies through sharp tangles. Wear protection.
Others who follow may deride
or forget the fools who first bled where thorns once were, carrying them away in their own flesh.
Such urgency as you now bear
may embarrass your children
who will know little of these times…
Alla Renée Bozarth, From Womanpriest: A Personal Odyssey, revised edition, LuraMedia and Wisdom House 1988. All rights reserved.
Questions
What new friendships in unlikely faces are you noticing?
Name some valued and faithful old friends who have remained with you through seasons of transformation and growth.
From whom or what do you need protection? What thorns have you encountered?
What feels urgent to you this day, an urgency others might well not share or have contempt for?